So. Here’s where the real fun begins.

The very worst thing a blog can be is mundane. The last thing I really expect that anyone would want to read from my (or any) vanity website is more depression fodder about “How the Pandemic Changed Our Lives, Part 718,” or a long list of celebrities we should spend time shaming in our heads. Living, working, and crying in our bedroom for 18 consecutive months has undoubtedly, collectively gotten to our heads.

I figured we’d have a little fun around here. There’s a shortage of fun these days. People like fun. (I like fun.)

A few weeks ago, I was privileged enough to pull the lever on an opportunity that seems equal parts rare and bogus. I’ve seen the Graduate Hotels advertise a “Hall Pass” promo every July for the past few years. The concept is that you pay a decent upfront fee — $500 — and then you’re allowed to stay in any of their hotels for the entire month, July 1-31.*

_{*some exclusions apply, availability may vary, if you’re reading this damn I got you good I’m not that sort of blog they’re not paying me or nothing I’m just a dipshit with time on his hands}

So what the hell? My current gig has me working remote indefinitely, and I’m not needed on campus again until August 23. Why not spend an entire month — my birthday month — abusing a company’s kind-spirited attempt to let people explore their properties? (Or am I stepping directly into their carefully laid bear trap?)

Despite web difficulties right at launch, I lucked into buying one of the exclusive Golden Tickets. I’m going to have a little fun seeing what I can do with it.

This much I know:

I have two incredible, loving housemates who are ready to take care of our house so I can jump off on this weird journey. I’d like to take a moment to appreciate them first. And frankly, they’d probably like some spare time away from my usual bullshit of watching sports 14 hours a day. It’s a win-win for everybody.

And here’s what you need to know:

• I have 31 consecutive hotel reservations in 12 different cities with Graduate Hotels. Every single day in July. I posted a few weeks ago on Twitter that I was planning something “ambitious,” and this was it.
• I’ll still be working 3 days a week, as well as finalizing my syllabus & curriculum for the fall semester — I hope the chain’s presence in college towns will inspire me a little to make my fall class a robust and interesting one.
• I’ve made a special plan to book the Graduate in Bloomington, IN, for my birthday, so I’ll be back in town for a brief midpoint check-in. That may entail a Kirkwood bar night — locals, take note!

And some final caveats: It’s all too likely that I’ll get tired of living out of hotel rooms, and there’s always the chance I’ll get bounced by the company by writing about their brand for an unprecedented 31 days, but hey, let’s have some fun while we can. I’ll still be writing about other things, too.

I have posted a timeline and map of the entire journey at the top of this website. I’ll update it if things change. If you know me like that, feel free to reach out for a connection if I’m near your city, but please respect my right to cancel based on time and availability. (Google Maps’ estimates predict I’ll drive close to 2,000 miles for more than 48 hours in the car.)

…sound like fun?

My end of the deal is this: In exchange (and gratitude) for your attention in this finite human experience, I’ll do my best to bring you compelling updates from the road. People I’m talking to. Things I’m seeing. What I’m learning. And sometimes: “what the fuck just happened?”

I’m hitting the road on the morning of July 1, so I just wanted to get this out there a week in advance so folks can keep a tab on me. (There’s always the offshoot I’ll go missing or become a milk carton kid, but with prudence, this blog should be updated regularly enough to assure you I’m alive — and having fun.

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-moose