Kids, put your shoes on, we’re here!

I’m writing this post to you live from the top floor of the Graduate Hotel in Iowa City, in a cute suite tucked away in the furthest corner from the escalator.

After more than 7 windy hours on the highway — driving a light pickup with no cruise control — I’ve arrived safely at my first destination of this 31-day venture. The Iowa-themed hotel is located east across the river (“Iowa River”) from the University of Iowa campus, and a few blocks away from the old capitol (“The Old Capitol”).

So far, the names are easy to remember, so I’ve got that going for me.

Very rarely has anyone written a compelling story about a solo drive on the highway for an extended period of time, so I’ll give you the bare necessities on this one: Was rainy when I left home. Got sunny and stayed sunny. I destroyed the entire box of Uncrustables within 200 miles. I have no shame.

Stereotypically, expectedly, the drive was pretty flat. Each side of the highway was green. The sky was blue. A few jackass semis drove side-by-side for about 10 minutes. You know, “God’s Country.”

My father had a joke about this wide-open part of the nation — “if you stood on a beer can, you’d be able to see the mountains in Colorado.”

Any way you want to slice them, on the interstate or Indianapolis Motor Speedway, 400 miles can take a lot out of a person, and I was very grateful to knock out the 2nd-longest leg of the trip on Day One. I’m forgetting just how much slower these drives go when you don’t have road-trip company, and I came into town kinda beat.

That said, it made the hospitality provided by the Graduate that much sweeter: Perhaps as a nod to the extremely public nature in which I’m conducting this month-long travel experiment, through a tell-all blog to save my passion for art, the team here in Iowa made time to welcome me with a few surprises: four ice-cold local beers, a 12-pack of La Croix, two bombers of Diet Coke, peanut M&Ms, sea salt kettle chips, a 3-pack of Field Notes (!!!), a notebook, a sticker, new water bottles, some pencils Wes Anderson would commit a misdemeanor to obtain, and a few other tchotchkes.

But best of all: a hand-written note. They just wanted to say they hoped wrestling went well last night, and to tell me a few fun facts about The Hawkeye State. (Did you know Iowa City is a UNESCO City of Literature, recognized globally for its love and contributions to the literary world? DO THESE GUYS KNOW HOW TO PARTY OR WHAT?)

We’re about to cross the 6 p.m. hour here, and I’m only staying here for another 43 hours, so I hope to get going on this whole “see the city” thing before too long. Lauren at the front desk suggested I go to Elray’s to catch some live music, which sounds awesome after a long day in the car. But I can’t be out too late, because I do work tomorrow. And I certainly don’t want to be hungover in a front lobby pretty enough to make Bill Murray feel underdressed.

From here on, I know this much: There’s a nap in my future, followed by a shower. I’m gonna finish the rest of this Big Grove Brewery “Easy Eddy” hazy IPA and probably crack into those chips.

After that, it’s adventure time.

A few more final thoughts before we part:

Today, July 1, 2021, is the very first day collegiate student-athletes can make money with the new changes to NIL (“Name, Image, Likeness”) laws. The day is not yet over, and Iowa men’s basketball player/sharpshooter Jordan Bohanon has been sponsored by “Boomin’ Iowa,” a fireworks company here in the state. I have no punchline. That’s just novel. Kid’s set to have a big Independence Day weekend. Good for him.

And lastly, a rest stop down the road from the Herbert Hoover Presidential Museum and Library in West Branch, Iowa, had a nice little monument plaque for folks to consider about the historic U.S. leader before they used the bathroom. I don’t know bears from skin when it comes to Herbert Hoover, but he described his upbringing here as “filled with adventure and great undertakings, with good and comforting things.”

Sounds like Mr. Hoover had his head screwed on right during his time in Iowa.

I’m eager to follow suit and see what he meant.

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-moose

PS: Here are some pictures of the room. This is too much, man. Cheers.