“You set ’em up, and I’ll knock ’em back, Lloyd, one-by-one.”
Like a bowling ball to a set of freshly-crowned pins, I have now knocked down 10 daily complimentary beverages from the Circle K corporation, as part of my larger (more modest, cost-efficient) “Moose on the Juice” journey to sample as many different drinks as I can during a summer of much personal change.
Life has many doors, but alas, a tasty beverage is waiting behind each one.
Here’s a brief rundown of the refreshments I’ve claimed from the “Sip and Save” program in the past 10 days:
The Great Shirley Temple Excursion
On Days 1 and 10 of the experiment, I’ve gone to my old standby when drinking my choice of soft beverages: the “Shirley Temple,” as named after the child movie star (who notably was not a fan of the drink).
I used to drink a lot of Shirley Temples as a late teenager when I went out to dinner with my Dad, who would always order a Budweiser in a bottle at our beloved “Round the Corner Pub” in New Palestine.
My decision to order Shirley Temples, which felt like adult cocktails in a way, was, in a sense, our own way to sit “at a bar” together, even though I was only 18 when he passed away. Shirley Temples were common choices from me in those days where I was starting to feel like an adult for the first time, in Dad’s presence, and hoping to become my own adult before too long. I was editor of the school magazine, I was getting more attention from cute girls, and big things were awaiting me in college at Indiana University. Each sip of Shirley tasted like another step forward to a great future awaiting me somewhere, someday soon.
Anyways, that was 13 years ago, and now I’m blogging about sodas.
As I mentioned in our first post together, the traditional Shirley Temple beverage was originally served in ginger ale or club soda, but more commonly Sprite today, with a splash of cherry grenadine syrup for flavor. But since three of these options are not available at my Circle K, I make do with Sprite and a good dose of Mountain Dew Code Red.
Either way, I think an appealing aspect of these Franken-beverages is that you get all that flavor with very little caffeine, comparatively speaking, even with a Code Red back, because of the caffeine-free Sprite.
There was some New York Times article a week or two back declaring the “dirty” Shirley Temple 2022’s “drink of the summer,” and I really don’t know what to make of writing like that. Of course, it’s passing culture analysis, but I feel like there has to be some sort of official board or doctorate committee that makes such a bold claim.
Perhaps it hits on a different, more existential aspect of the media industry to me: even for one of the most prestigious news outlets in the world, imagine writing about soda pop when some of your colleagues are getting shot at in war zones or bearing witness to a literal insurrection. Nothing to answer or explain right now. I just sit with that personally as a guy who went to journalism school with a lot of talented folks, but prefers to use his powers to examine microscopic salts by the grain in the name of documenting a beach of low-culture gas station products while they’re off winning Pulitzers and saving democracy and shit.
It’s not an insecurity thing so much as it kinda makes me feel like a sort of media clown.
But I’m a damn good clown. Honk!
Anyways, Shirley Temples are the drink I’ve had the most thus far during this “Moose on the Juice” quest — at 2, since I’m not trying to do repeats — and they might very well prove to be my own “drink of the summer.” We’ll see how many I have, as well as if I want to turn a few into Dirty Shirleys.
Comfort Colas
Generally speaking, I prefer more exotic and fruity soft drinks (Sprite, Mountain Dew variants, Lemonade) compared to caramel-based colas (Coke, Pepsi, Dr. Pepper) that tend to share the soda market in equal regard. I’m more likely to enjoy something that tastes like tropical candy instead of savory chocolate.
That said, not every day can be the same (nor should it be), so I took to a few traditional name-brand colas as reliable standbys when I was either feeling tired because of real-life situations or simply unimpressed by the options a certain Circle K location (looking at you, South Walnut Street) had offered me on any given day.
I leaned on Coca-Cola classic, Diet Coke, Cherry Coke, and Big Red cream soda on these days, which usually included some degree of self-care. Trying to review such prominent, familiar sodas (Big Red perhaps being a minor celebrity in this entourage) seems like a futile task. How does one review something so commonplace, like pepperoni pizza or chocolate ice cream?
Well, you get someone else to do it.
In the words of pop artist and yinzer Andy Warhol:
“You can be watching TV and see Coca-Cola, and you know that the President drinks Coke, Liz Taylor drinks Coke, and just think, you can drink Coke, too. A Coke is a Coke and no amount of money can get you a better Coke than the one the bum on the corner is drinking. All the Cokes are the same and all the Cokes are good. Liz Taylor knows it, the President knows it, the bum knows it, and you know it.”
So yeah. You already know they’re good.
‘Frosters’
I understand that each convenience store chain needs their own version of a frozen drink, something that avoids the copyrights of the eponymous “Slushee,” “Slurpee,” and “ICEE” brands, but Circle K’s name brand of “Frosters” leaves much to be desired in the name. Imagine a Wendy’s Frosty, but less fun!
That said, I’m out to do my due diligence in sampling, so I’m pleased to report back on two Froster experiences from separate Circle K locations in town:
1. “Orange Creme”
I made a venture to the Kirkwood Avenue Circle K to try their rumored slushy machine as my first, after a hot tip from my home location. One might assume (I did, and I’m an idiot) that the “Orange Creme” concoction would taste like the familiar “creamsicle” (aka Dreamsicle) frozen pop, which bears a healthy dose of vanilla to counteract a relatively mild but robust orange fruit flavor.
Nope. The Orange Creme slushy is pure tartness, very closely akin to the classic (but way different) orange “Push Pop” served in elementary school cafeterias and budget-saavy birthday parties all across childhood. Which isn’t a bad thing! It’s just way off from what my palate was expecting. Like expecting a sip of coffee and getting toothpaste. Just a major surprise.
(I drank the entire thing happily, once I knew what to expect.)
2. Blue Razz / Laffy Taffy / Mountain Dew
The next day, I went to a different Circle K, one on 17th Street where I once got a phone call a few years back telling me I didn’t get a coveted marketing job downtown, and popped inside to see what they had to offer me in terms of refreshments and memory overwriting.
On tap for slushies, they had Blue Raspberry, “tropical” Laffy Taffy, Mountain Dew, and Coca-Cola (out of order). So I got the former three options together as a bastard-sort of flavor mix, which worked extremely well!
Almost instantly, the three foamy flavors (at three separate consistencies) mushed together to form a miasma of taste, the byproduct aroma and flavor seeming identical to a freshly opened packet of gummy bears. I strongly preferred this to the Orange Creme option, if only because I knew (to some degree) more what I was getting into. I drank it on a humid, overcast day and watched NASCAR action in my room.
That said, I’d happily drink either slushy again! Circle K slushee sizes (I will not say “Froster”) are generous as well, so no matter what you’re getting, there’s a least a great chance you’ll get your money’s worth. It could be flavorless crushed ice, and you’d still be getting a bargain.
‘Purple Thunder’
Right now, Circle K is big on promoting a special blend of Mountain Dew unique to their chain called “Purple Thunder.” Not to be confused with some stupid nickname your father would assign himself while playing pickup basketball in the driveway, Purple Thunder is themed like a big, obnoxious motorcycle you’d see in a hot rod magazine, and flavored like “berry plum” with a hint of gumdrop spice.
True to form, it’s not available on tap at my home store — another “out of order” flavor — so I had to track it down at the campus Circle K location.
Frankly speaking, it looks like lean, or “Purple Drank,” the unmistakable party drug/drink of codeine, cough syrup, and cola. Add a few Jolly Ranchers and any discerning staff member might hide the remaining cough syrup in the C-store.
Generally speaking, I love all of the variants of Mountain Dew (Code Red cherry, Livewire orange, Major Melon watermelon, Spark raspberry lemonade, and more), and Purple Thunder fits right in with this family of enjoyable sips. It tastes like the spicy end of discount purple jellybeans, but they’re just fine in my book. Plum isn’t a flavor I’m used to experiencing in soda, so once you get past the inevitable Christmas season flashback associations, it’s pretty good! And I’ll probably get Purple Thunder again.
What’s Next?
There are still three weeks to go in the “Moose on the Juice” sip-and-save tasting journey, and I hope to cover the following topics in the coming 21 days:
- Coffee selections, both hot and iced, since they are also included in the deal
- The apparent big plans awaiting my local Circle K (gasp!)
- Visiting every Circle K store in town (I have now visited 4 of 7 — “home, campus, Kirkwood and 17th street”), plus the two locations in nearby Ellettsville
- Finding the location with the most working drink faucets, then trying all of them at once (Day 31)
Want me to try something in particular? Got a question or special recipe to offer? Maybe just some random thoughts? Drop a line in the Moose Mailbag and I’ll write back here in a future post. 🙂
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-moose
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Patrons of the Juice:
Jack McGrew, Jim Banta
B-TOWN Moose 