There’s tremendous anxiety in traveling, I find, to make sure you see it all.

“See it all” so the trip isn’t wasted — that you experience every single pleasure and cram each piece of knowledge you can fit into your brain in a short period of time.

That’s a fine and valid approach, but allow me to rebut firmly: It’s not possible to see everything worth noting, in any city, even if you stayed a week or a month. Everyone who lives in a city, by and large, will never see it all, or to cultural completion. Don’t expect to out-local the locals. You’re a tourist. Know your role. (Say “please,” tip like family, and try to stay out of the police bookings. That’s your job.)

And since this oh-my-God-I-only-have-24-hours-left-and-I-just-got-here feeling is so deeply unsettling — you’ve never been here before! you’ll never see it again either! and look at you, you’re wasting it! — I find it easier just to get to The Big Goddamn Thing as quickly as possible and work myself down the rest of the cultural checklist as I see fit, knowing that I’ve completed the most important stop.

Then, hopefully, you can rest easy and actually enjoy whatever the journey brings you. Continue reading →

Kids, put your shoes on, we’re here!

I’m writing this post to you live from the top floor of the Graduate Hotel in Iowa City, in a cute suite tucked away in the furthest corner from the escalator.

After more than 7 windy hours on the highway — driving a light pickup with no cruise control — I’ve arrived safely at my first destination of this 31-day venture. The Iowa-themed hotel is located east across the river (“Iowa River”) from the University of Iowa campus, and a few blocks away from the old capitol (“The Old Capitol”).

So far, the names are easy to remember, so I’ve got that going for me.

Very rarely has anyone written a compelling story about a solo drive on the highway for an extended period of time, so I’ll give you the bare necessities on this one: Was rainy when I left home. Got sunny and stayed sunny. I destroyed the entire box of Uncrustables within 200 miles. I have no shame. Continue reading →

Tomorrow, I hit the open road for 31 consecutive days.

All of July — that’s the plan.

Admittedly, I’m pretty nervous about this whole Graduate Hotels “Hall Pass” experiment shebang. And I’m a pretty good planner when it comes to long-term travel — my previous records away from home were 11 and 21 days, respectively. But the idea of spending a whole month on the road, even with a brief dip back home to Bloomington for my birthday, is a lot.

Why is it racking my brain? I don’t know for certain. Maybe it’s just part of the territory, another slice of The Great Unknown, where because many of the details are yet to be determined, it’s hard to get excited about or see the memories-to-be on the horizon. Continue reading →

So. Here’s where the real fun begins.

The very worst thing a blog can be is mundane. The last thing I really expect that anyone would want to read from my (or any) vanity website is more depression fodder about “How the Pandemic Changed Our Lives, Part 718,” or a long list of celebrities we should spend time shaming in our heads. Living, working, and crying in our bedroom for 18 consecutive months has undoubtedly, collectively gotten to our heads.

I figured we’d have a little fun around here. There’s a shortage of fun these days. People like fun. (I like fun.)

A few weeks ago, I was privileged enough to pull the lever on an opportunity that seems equal parts rare and bogus. I’ve seen the Graduate Hotels advertise a “Hall Pass” promo every July for the past few years. Continue reading →